


Old Bruises

by cassandrasfisher



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Daredevil (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Character Has Cancer, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Clint Barton and Natalia Romanova Friendship, Clint Barton writer, College Student Clint, English class, Football, Hurt Clint Barton, M/M, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Mpreg, Phil Coulson & Melinda May are Skye's Parents, Sick Clint Barton, Teacher Melinda May, Teacher Phil Coulson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassandrasfisher/pseuds/cassandrasfisher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint and Bucky had been best of friends, and then boyfriends, for years. Then, something changed, and Bucky tore them apart without warning. Newly broken up, and facing a fresh new start in college, when Clint's life catches up with him, will he get the chance to mend wounds he hadn't even know existed, before it's too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for Clint Barton Big Bang 2015. I would like to thank AJ for beta reading this story for me. Thank you to knowmefirst for the wonderful art created. Make sure you have a box of tissue handy when you read this.

 

 

Clint looked at the U-Haul truck which was parked a few houses down. The back wasn't open yet. He saw two people standing next to the truck. Clint grabbed his black leather jacket and headed out the door. It took a couple of minutes to get to the house, but once there, he waited to be acknowledged; he didn't want to intrude on their conversation.  
  


The young man was the first to notice him.

“Can we help you?” he asked.

“I wanted to say welcome to the neighborhood.” Clint grinned. He watched the young woman elbow the guy beside her.

“Bucky! Manners!”

“Sorry Becca,” Bucky said, as Becca looked over at Clint.

“Sorry about that,” she offered. “My brother can be a pain at times. Thank you for a warm welcome.”

Bucky looked at Clint, then just shrugged his shoulders. Clint smirked at him, acknowledging the shared grief of younger siblings everywhere. Then he nodded at Becca.

“You're welcome.”

Turning his attention back to both siblings, he asked casually, “Where did you come from?”

“California.”

“That's a long way from Michigan.”

“Yeah, we drove here. It wasn't exactly a picnic.” Bucky replied.

“Bucky,” Becca’s practiced warning voice pressed.

“Well, it wasn't,” Bucky whined.

“I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Clint Barton, and I live with my brother Barney a few houses down the street.” Clint said. 

He pointed to the house where he and his brother lived, and they followed the path of his finger with their eyes.

“It's nice to meet you. My name is Rebecca Barnes, and this here is my younger brother, James,” Rebecca told him.

“I heard you call him Bucky. Is that a nickname for him?”

Rebecca nodded at Clint, “Yes, it's a nickname from his middle name.”

“I like it,” Clint said, feeling his cheeks warm at his own admission.

“Thanks,” Bucky replied, as he then picked up a box and walked towards the house. “Hey, sorry man, but we've got to get our stuff unpacked you know? Maybe we can hang out after we are all moved in.”

“Sorry about that, but Bucky’s right, we’ve still got some work ahead of us. I hope we can talk again later. It was nice meeting you.” Rebecca said. 

She picked up a box marked “Bucky's Room” and headed inside with it. After a second, Clint turned and walked back home. He knew from then on he and Bucky were going to be good friends at least.

 

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Bucky and Clint walked into Clint's room laughing. Bucky sat on Clint's bed and waited for them to stop laughing.

“Well, Mr. Blankansoft wouldn't know who did it. I doubt anyone else would know either.” Clint said as he wiped a tear from his eyes.

“I bet, but what happens if someone rats us out?”

“Bucky, there are only two people who know what we did, and they are in this room.”

Bucky looked a little worried. Clint moved over and sat down next to him, determined to comfort his friend. Over seven years they had grown up together; Clint eventually found himself falling in love with Bucky. The feelings had been there for a long time; it was almost second nature to make sure Bucky was happy and safe.

That was why it didn't matter how he felt now. The only thing he could think of was Bucky's safety. If they did get caught, then he would take the blame. He would do anything for Bucky.

“Plus, I can get us out of any situation,” Clint told him. It was true Clint was good at thinking on his feet. It had gotten him out of bad situations before.

“Okay, if you say so,” Bucky said as he bumped against Clint. After a minute of silence passed by, they moved on to talking about something else, the worry forgotten.

 

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Clint knew if he didn't tell Bucky about his feelings, he was sure he would end up doing something which would end up embarrassing himself and Bucky. He didn't want to do that at all. So this was the only way he could do this without embarrassing the both of them.

Clint sat in his room, waiting for Bucky to show up. Clint had to admit to himself he was a bit nervous. There on the shelf above his bed were some of Bucky’s origami creations: a crane, butterfly, and spider. Bucky made things when he wanted to relax. Clint frowned, he felt as far from feeling relaxed as he’d ever been. What if Bucky didn't have the same feelings as him? What would happen if Bucky ignored or avoided him?

It would hurt a lot, but he would have known his answer, after today. His life would move on from there, whatever the outcome.

There was a knock on his door. He looked over to see Bucky standing there is his Pvris t-shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers.

“Hey Clint,”

“Hey.”

“So what's up?”

“Umm....” Clint replied. His knees were bouncing a little.

Bucky came in and moved next to him. He placed a hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is, we can get through it together.”

“Wouldyoubemyboyfriend?”

He glanced nervously at Bucky. He might have to say it again slower this time; there was no telling if Bucky understood what he had asked or not.

“Yes,” Bucky replied.

“Huh...you understood that?”

“Yes, I did. You asked me to be your boyfriend. I was under the impression we were already.” Bucky admitted.

Clint's eyes widened a bit. “For how long?”

“Six months.”

“Oh...”

“I was hoping I wasn't overstepping by assuming that,” Bucky said as he looked at Clint. Clint knew then that Bucky wasn't going to be ashamed of his feelings. Clint decided that he wasn't going to be ashamed then, either. He gave Bucky a little smile.

“Not at all. I have had feelings for you for some time now. I’m glad we can figure it out.” Clint told him.

It was then Bucky leaned over and kissed him. Clint wrapped one of his hands around Bucky's waist, while his other hand went into Bucky’s the hair. Clint leaned back, and they continued to kiss.

Clint had a smile on his face for the rest of Bucky’s visit to Clint’s home. They both didn’t want to leave the other, but they knew the sooner they got to sleep, the sooner they would get to see each other the next day.

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The next morning, they met up after they had breakfast, and Clint and Bucky walked to school together. It wasn’t long before other students also joined them, each on their own way to class.

“Hey, Bucky, Clint!” Tony called, sharp and familiar. They both turned as they heard his voice.

“What is it, Tony?” Clint asked, cautious.

“So did you guys finish your assignment for Mrs. Danvers?” Tony asked. 

They looked at each other, and then back at him.

“Tony we are not going to show you our assignment.” Bucky snorted.

“Oh, I don’t need to see your work. I finished mine an hour after I got it. Of course, Pepper helped.” Tony told them.   
Somehow they didn’t believe him. They would find out later from Pepper if he were telling the truth or not. The bell rang, and everyone headed to class.

Everyone entered, and they took their seat. The teacher then entered the room. As he got settled into his place, Clint noticed Peter Quill wasn’t in his seat. Other students noticed this as well. He did see a few other students whispering to one another, some resorting to passing notes as class began. Missing students weren’t always subjects of gossip; missing football players, though, were something else entirely.

Bucky leaned over to Clint, “Do you think everything’s okay with Quill?”

“I hope so, the last thing we need is for him not to be here for the last game of the season,” Clint whispered back.

“I hope whatever it is; it isn't serious,” Bucky replied. Clint nodded his head in agreement. The rest of the day went by with people speculating on what happened to Peter Quill.

It wasn’t until they were getting ready for their last game did they get more information.  
Coach Cage stood in front of them, grim.

“I know you all have questions about your teammate Peter Quill. They told me that his parents have had sent him to go live with his uncle in California,” Coach Cage told them.

It was silent for a few moments.

“Do we know the reason?” one of the other players asked.

“Yes, I do know the reason, but it’s not for me to tell.” Coach Cage pointed out. Clint was curious, but if Quill wanted to tell them the reason, he would have. Clint turned his attention to the game which they would be playing a few minutes from now, resolved to let Quill have his secrets.

It didn’t take much to get the team mind back on the game, with the coach pushing. They were ready to play now.

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The team they were playing was tough and was a force to be reckoned with. In the end they made a successful play that tilted things in their favor and won them the game. An hour and a half later they were back in the locker room celebrating their win.

Clint felt sore all over; he planned a nice, hot soak when he got home. He took a quick shower and then was out the door fifteen minutes later. Bucky met him outside at the door.

Clint leaned over and gave him a kiss.

“Hey, good game out there,” Bucky said.

“Thanks! So what do you want to do now?” Clint asked Bucky.

“I talked to Peter,” Bucky said. Clint looked over at him, and his brows furrowed, concerned. He wasn’t sure, but something was wrong with Bucky.

“What’s wrong?... Are you okay, Bucky?”

“Nothing, I’m just worried about him.”

“Why are you worried about him?” Clint asked, as he saw Bucky clasp and unclasp his hands a few times before answering.

“He moved to his uncle’s place because he’s pregnant.”

Clint’s eyes widened a bit. He didn’t exactly know how to take that news. He knew there was a chance of male pregnancy if someone wasn’t careful, but he didn’t expect Peter

Quill, of all people, to be one of those guys who would go through pregnancy.

“Umm…...” Clint winced, uncertain what Bucky wanted to hear. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“He doesn’t want anyone else to know.”

“Why not?” Clint asked curiously.

“He doesn’t want people to look at him differently when he does come back.”

“Okay. Just the two of us know.”

“Yeah.”

There was an uncomfortable silence between them.

“Let’s get something to eat,” Bucky said abruptly, as he swung an arm around Clint's shoulders and started to walk away from the stadium.

 

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Classes at the school were wrapping up. Graduation was coming closer and closer. Both Clint and Bucky were glad they were going to graduate and start their life together. The school day was over, and they were both in Clint’s room relaxing. Bucky was reading a magazine on Clint's bed. Clint was on his laptop.

“Have you heard that Rudy Stine is pregnant?” Bucky asked. He flipped the magazine in his hand around, indicating an article with a large headline, and what looked like a blurred, hurried photo of Stine plastered on the page.  
Clint looked up at Bucky.

“Why is that surprising?” Clint asked. He wasn’t one to listen to gossip.

“It’s surprising due to the fact there seem to be more and more males becoming pregnant. It’s not just a weird thing you hear about from a friend of a friend anymore,” Bucky said.

“I noticed that. Why are you interested in it, anyway?”

“No reason. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Clint said, as he gave his full attention to Bucky.

“Do you want kids?”

“At some point in my life I want kids, but not right now. It’s too much trouble to have kids now. We have our full life ahead of us; kids would just slow us down.” Clint said as he looked at the laptop screen. He didn’t notice Bucky’s reaction to what he said.

“Hey, I am going to head home. I’ll see you later.” Bucky threw over his shoulder as he got up and left, without saying another word to Clint.

“Later,” Clint called out to him.

 

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For Clint, this was supposed to be the happiest day of his life, but it ended up being the worst day, instead. Clint had been planning to propose to Bucky tonight, but things hadn’t gone as planned.

It was a Saturday afternoon, and Clint was sitting sat on a picnic table in front of the library. Bucky wanted to talk to him; only Clint wasn’t sure what issue they were going to discuss among themselves. Bucky had asked to talk to him a couple of weeks before they graduated; Clint was worried - the stress of finals could be getting to his boyfriend.

“Hey,” Clint said, as he watched Bucky stop in front of him. Bucky looked horrible, and Clint’s concern doubled.

“Clint, we--” Bucky faltered, then took a deep breath, visibly gathering himself. At the unusual sight, Clint clutched the tabletop, bracing himself. “Clint, we have to break up.”  
Clint's eyes widened a bit. Things were going well for them! Then this happened. There was no rhyme or reason that he could see. The sudden change left him shocked and bewildered. Without thinking, he gave voice to his thoughts. “Why?”

“I’ve found someone else.”

“When?”

“About three months ago.”

The news surprised to him. Or… maybe not. When he thought back through the passed couple of months, there were times when Bucky had gone missing. Now he knew the reason.

“Bucky, why?”

“I’m sorry. It just happened. Clint, if you love me, you will let me go,” Bucky said, as his eyes looked at everything else but Clint's own eyes. His hands were clasping and unclasping reflexively: one of the quirks that told Clint that Bucky was nervous about doing this. Clint pushed that fact away, still reeling - did he know Bucky as well as he thought, really? - and just looked at Bucky, not sure what to say.

Clint and Bucky made love for the first time two months ago, before graduation was quite so close. It still meant something to Clint him, but... apparently it meant nothing to Bucky. Clint wanted to know where it had gone wrong, if he’d done something to drive Bucky off to someone else, but he couldn’t think of anything. Worse, at the moment, he couldn’t ask Bucky how they could possibly fix this - not when Bucky had just asked to be let go.

“Bucky, I love you. I will always love you. You’re the only man I want. If you’ve... fallen in love with someone else, then… so be it. I love you, so I am going to let you go. I… I won’t stop you from being happy.” Clint’s shakily declared voice told him.

Tears were forming in Bucky’s eyes, but didn’t let them fall. Then Bucky turned around and walked away. Things in Clint’s life were going to be different from now on. Clint put up a wall within himself, then, and swore no one would ever get as far as Bucky had.

 

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Silver Century High School was one of the top fifty public schools in the United States of America. Clint had worked hard to get where he was. If he wasn’t working, or hanging out with Bucky, or at football practice, he was studying. Clint was in the top five percentile of his graduating class, with a 4.0 GPA.

He had friends, of course: Tony Stark and his girlfriend, Pepper Potts, were two of them. There were also his fellow football teammates, Steve Rogers and Thor Odison. Friends end up fighting and having disagreements, and he and Stark were often the proof of that. They had, between them, quite a few arguments about many different things. Pepper seemed to be the one who smoothed things out in their group, no matter who was at odds; Clint was glad she and Tony were a packaged deal. They were all still friends, though - whatever happened.

 _‘Whatever happened’_... except for when it came to Bucky and himself. They were all friends with Clint and Bucky individually, but if there were events where Clint came, Bucky wasn’t there, and if there were events Bucky was at, Clint didn’t bother to show. Their friends didn’t know how to fix what had happened between them; they had hoped things would get better before they graduated.

“So, Barton, how does it feel to be graduating?” Tony asked as he poked Clint. Clint forced himself not to flinch; he seriously wasn’t feeling too well right now, and all he wanted was to go home and curl up in his nice warm bed. Of course, that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Going through the motions of the ceremony was a stepping stone to the goal of graduation, and he needed to follow through. Clint turned back to Tony.

“It feels great. I’m glad I’ll be able to get away from you now,” Clint said with a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

Tony scoffed at him.

Immediately, Pepper was by his side, doing her own poking. “Tony, be nice.”

“Yes, dear.”

“Hey, it seems like the whole gang is here,” Steve said, as the rest of their friends showed up. Clint noticed Bucky standing closer than usual to Steve. There was something different about the other teen, but Clint couldn’t put his finger on it. After a moment, he looked away.

Everyone was quiet they looked between Clint and Bucky. Ever since the two broke up, neither one was ever in the same place at the same time if they could help it. It was putting a strain on their friends, but no one had said anything outright. Tony was about to, but he caught Pepper’s quelling look, and wisely shut his mouth. Tony wasn’t scared of many things, but Pepper Potts was one of them.

“James,” Clint said.

“Clinton,” Bucky replied.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Pepper snapped. She looked at both of them. She pointed a finger at Clint then at Bucky. “You two need to act your age. We’ve been tiptoeing around you guys, hoping this would blow over, but this is ridiculous! You guys are friends! Whatever it was that made you guys break up, figure it out and move on!”

Pepper huffed as she turned and left. Tony followed her silently. Thor and Jane, his girlfriend, quickly exited to give the tense ex-couple their space. Steve moved a few feet away to give Clint and Bucky some privacy. Bucky just stood there, watching Clint.

Clint didn’t know what to say, or what Bucky was expecting him to do. But he did want to know why Bucky broke up with him, so he waited, hoping Bucky would talk.

“I can’t,” Bucky eventually muttered, avoiding eye contact. In response, Clint just turned and left, without saying a word to either Bucky or Steve.

As Clint waited for the ceremony to start, he walked aimlessly around the school grounds, doing what he could to avoid everyone he knew. Eventually, he found his way to the gym, properly decorated for their scheduled graduation.

At the front of the gym, the stage was set neatly. Their school colors were white, light blue, and gold, and that scheme covered everything in sight. There were plenty of balloons all around. Even above the seats was a net full of balloons, set up by the excited decorating committee, which were to drop once the graduating students tossed their hats.

Their gowns were all light brown. The people who had done the seating made sure everyone was lined up the right way so they could move along in the correct order. The music started, and it was their cue to march in and stand in front of their seats. Once everyone was in the room, they all sat down as the music stopped playing, which was the announcement that it was time to start. Clint was hyper-aware of Bucky: first in line in front of him, and then seated stiffly next to him. Clint looked forward and forcefully focused his attention the people who were speaking.

The ceremony took some time, but Clint noticed that it seemed to be going fast for him. It wasn’t long before he crossed the stage. Even though the balloons hadn’t technically dropped yet, and there were still a great number of students left, it was then that he knew that this chapter of his life was complete.

A new chapter of his life had begun... but one without Bucky in it. Clint wasn’t sure what to expect, but he was going to get through it without complaining. He took his seat and waited until everyone else had crossed the stage.

“Congratulations, to the class of 2018.” The principal said.

Everyone stood up and threw their caps in the air, the balloons fell upon them as everyone cheered, and finally music started to play. Clint resisted the urge to turn to Bucky and hug him. It was indeed a bittersweet moment for him. Clint headed through the crowd to find his brother. Eventually, he spotted the older Barton.

“Hey, Barney.”

“Congratulations, bro,” Barney said, as he reached over and gave his brother a hug. Clint returned the gesture, careful of his aching shoulder; it had started acting up earlier, as they were preparing for the walk to their seats. He was going to try working out the kinks when he was at home alone, but right now he had to stay in the moment.

“So, do you want to get out of here?” he pressed, in an attempt to take his mind off everything.

“How about James?” Barney asked him. Instead of answering the question, Clint quickened his pace slightly. He knew his expression would give him away if his brother saw it.

“He’s got better things to do than then to hang out with me,” Clint grumbled defensively.  
Clint could almost hear Barney furrowing his eyebrows. He likely knew something was wrong when Clint didn’t correct him for calling Bucky by his given name.

“Let's go; I’m starving.”

“You're always hungry,” Barney teased.

When they turned to leave, Clint didn't even glance back towards Bucky. He wasn’t hungry; he just needed to get away from the excitement.

 

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The University of Michigan had, based on his exemplary academic record, made an allowance when they accepted him, and let him know he could move into his dorm room ahead of the other freshmen. Most freshmen classes didn’t start for another couple of months, but they had given him the option of starting a few of his early, scheduled in the late summer semester. Clint had immediately said yes; there wasn’t anything holding him home for the summer. His brother told him that, whatever he did, Barney would support his decisions.

Clint had everything packed. His brother's car had everything he was going to bring to college in the back seat, as Clint wasn't someone who kept a lot of things. It helped, too, that he like things organized and clean - a hard thing to do when there was a lot of stuff. For this reason, Clint hoped he didn’t acquire a lot of things at college. He guessed it would be dealt with when and if that time came time.

Since his brother’s place was in Blaire, Michigan, the university campus wasn't far away. It was about a forty minute drive, which was perfect for Clint to come back on weekends. They'd been close since their parents’ deaths when Clint was five and Barney was eight, and the idea of not seeing his older brother regularly was unpleasant.

“It's good that you're doing this,” Barney told his brother.

“I agree. It's not going as planned, but I am glad I’m getting the chance to do something I like.”

“Whatever happened to archery?”

“It's on the back-burner at the moment. I can always go back to it if football doesn't work out.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“How's life going for you? I meant to ask.”

Barney was hesitant for a second. Since Barney and Rebecca were engaged, Clint could understand his brother’s caution. Bucky was bound to be a subject that was, in relation to Barney’s life, a ticking time bomb for Clint right now.

“I’m doing well. Becca and I are getting married in December.” Barney said as he waited for the reaction. Clint smiled at his brother. It was good at least one of them was going to be happy.

“That's great. How’s she doing?”

“She’s doing well. Her brother…”

“Stop, please.”

“Stop what?”

“I don't want to hear anything about Bucky.”

“Why not?”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“What happened between you two?”

“Nothing.”

Barney could tell Clint wasn't about to say anything about what had happened, and it wouldn't do anything to press him on the subject. Clint had turned his attention to the scenery outside the window. The rest of the drive was quiet. Clint almost fell asleep twice on the drive over there, but he was ultimately able to keep himself awake. If he did fall asleep, then his brother would suspect something was up and ask what it was. Right now it was just one more something in his life that he didn’t want to deal with at all.

They got to the campus, where Clint found that he had a single room. It wasn’t much larger than his room at home, but it was acceptable. Barney followed him inside with the rest of his belongings. It didn't take long to get settled. Clint took a few minutes just to watch his brother; Barney, feeling eyes on his back, paused and looked over his shoulder. “Clint, what are you doing?”

“Just watching you.”

“Why?”

“Just realizing how far we’ve come.”

“I know, you've come a long way as well,” Barney paused for a split second before tossing out, “Except, you know, for what's going on with you and Bucky right now.”  
Clint glared at him.

Barney held up his hand in surrender. “Okay, okay I get it. I won't mention Bucky anymore.”

There was a moment of comfortable silence between them before Barney made a move for the door. “I’m going to head out, Clint.”

“Okay. Give me a call when you get back home.” Clint said as he gave his brother a hug before he left.

Clint went over to his desk and sat down, he opened his laptop and logged into Facebook. He didn't have many friends on Facebook; it was mostly just people who he considered family. When he looked at the friend count though, there was one less number than he’d had yesterday.

It was quick work to scan the list of icons and determine which one was missing: Bucky. Clint hadn’t expected this move from him. It was then he knew it was really and truly over between them. He resolved to try and do his best to get over Bucky, as Bucky had so clearly gotten over him.

Clint closed the window, and then he got out his notebook and started to write.

When Clint looked up from his writing, it was because someone had knocked on his door. It was a young woman with red hair. Confused, he wondered why she was there.

“Yes, can I help you?” Clint asked.

“I would like to introduce myself. I am Natalia Romanova, the Residential Advisor for this floor. If you have any issues and concerns, bring them to me. I’m at the end of this hallway.” Natalia told him, as she gestured to the door down on the far end of the other side of the hallway. Clint had to lean back to see where she had pointed.

“Okay. It’s nice to meet you Miss Romanova. I’m Clint Barton, a new student here,” Clint told her.

Natalia smiled, she nodded her head once.

“Nice to meet you,” Natalia offered, before she started to turn and leave.

“I was wondering if you... would like to talk?” Clint asked. 

He wanted to have at least one friend here at college. It would be a good idea to be on the good side of the RA of his dorm. Natalia hesitated for a second. She turned around and looked at him.

“I’m telling you now: I am not interested in a relationship. Also, if you’re trying to get into my pants, it won’t happen.”

Clint’s eyes widened a bit. At the moment, neither of those things were something he was looking for or interested in persuading.

“Neither am I,” Clint simply said. 

Natalia looked over at him. Clint looked back at her.

“Hmm…,” Natalia said as she looked at him. “Usually, this would be the part where guys try and sweet talk me into seeing it their way.”

“I’m not like other people. Right now, I’m here to learn to get all that I can before graduating. I’m not here for fun and games.” Clint told her. 

Things were different for him now, more severe, in a way that life with Bucky in high school never had been.

“I think we’ll end up being great friends,” Natalia told him.

Clint gave her a grateful smile. All he needed was someone who just could be his friend and nothing more. Clint got up and set up the extra folding chair for Natalia, before sitting back down.

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“I was wondering how things work here?” Clint asked her. 

If he could figure out things beforehand, then it would make this a lot easier. No one was going ever to take Bucky’s place, but Clint knew he needed to move on. Natalia was a great person to talk to, and Clint had a feeling she has been here for a bit. The faster he got the lay of the land, the quicker he could get his degree and start a new chapter in his life.

“It’s like high school, but you’re in charge of yourself. I’m just here to help, but I’m not your babysitter or someone who will get you out of situations which you are dumb enough to get yourself into.”

Clint just nodded his head, easily agreeing, “Okay. Just wondering: is there an archery range on campus?”

“I thought you played football.” Natalia said, one eyebrow raised, as she eyed two photos in frames which sat on his desk. One was of him and his brother. The second one was of him in his football uniform, kneeling on one knee and posing for the camera. There was a huge grin on his face.

“Yes, I am. I do archery as well, though. It helps me think. There was an archery range at my high school; now that I’ve graduated, I’m in need of somewhere that I can let off steam when I need to.” Clint said, as he looked away from Natalia for a moment.

He wasn't about to tell a complete stranger all about his life. At the moment he didn’t know her well enough to tell her his life story. Clint would have to get to know Natalia a lot better before he could confide in her.

Natalia paused a moment, taking in his reaction silently. “Yes, there’ is an archery range on campus. I’ll show you where it is later on today.”

“Okay. Are you opposed to hanging out sometime?” Clint started, as he looked over Natalia. He raised his arms up in surrender when one of Natalia’s eyebrows rose up. “I mean just as friends, nothing more.”

Natalia looked over at him. “I don't oppose it at all. Just knock on my door and I'll let you know if I’m available or not.”  
Clint nodded his head. They talked for another hour before Natalia left to attend to her other duties.

Clint went back to writing, and it was a long time before he looked back up. He’d started writing this when he was younger; he still wasn’t sure exactly how long it was going to be, but it was a series for sure. He decided this was a good place to stop where he was, since he had class early in the morning tomorrow.  
A quick glance at his phone proved that his brother had texted him. The message read, 'I made it safely home. Have a good time at college.’ Clint then got ready for bed and fell in a dreamless sleep.

 

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Clint sat at the front of the English classroom, in the desk in the middle, armed with a large coffee. His hope was that attending this English class meant he could make his writing better. The teachers were listed on the schedule as P & M Coulson. He wasn’t sure if this referred to two teachers, or one.

A young brunette woman came into the room and sat next to him. She had a smile on her face. “Hi. I am Darcy Lewis.”

“Clint Barton. Nice to meet you.” Clint said, as he watched her, choosing not to offer his hand to shake, in an effort to keep the sudden, dull pain in his right shoulder to a minimum. Instead, Clint smiled warmly; her grin grew larger in response.

For some reason he had the feeling they were going to be really good friends. Even if all of his friends ended up being all women here, the fact that he was making friends was still a good thing. Besides, he had some guy friends! They just weren’t attending the same college at the moment.

“So what are you working on?” Darcy asked as she peeked over at the notebook he was writing in. “Is this a novel?”

“Yes, it is,” Clint started, as he set the pen in his hand down on the page, which was half filled with words already. “I’m not sure how long it’s going to be, though.”

“Can I read it?” Darcy asked quietly.

“Ummm…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I’m the only one who reads it.” Darcy promised.

Clint knew it would take some time before he could trust her to read the whole adventure. He started to write this story the same day he met Bucky. After the break-up, he had written more of the story then he thought possible. He had six two-inch binders, filled with one- hundred-and- fifty pages each, and each individual page was covered in written words on both the front and the back sides.

He just wrote, and he didn’t worry about anything else. No one knew what he had in the binders. Maybe sharing it with Darcy would bring something to the story which was missing. Natalia had added to the story; now maybe Darcy would add to it, as well. This world he had created was growing slowly but surely as he met new people and learned new things. He wasn’t sure how far it would go, but ultimately, this story was for him. He didn’t care what anyone else thought about his constant writing, but at the same time, it was intensely personal.

“I’m... not comfortable with showing you the story right now. Is there any way I can show it to you when I get to know you better?”  
  
Darcy looked over at Clint. Seeming to come to a conclusion, she nodded, “Fair enough. When you are comfortable let me know.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Not a problem.”

It was then that two people walked into the room. By the look of it, he figured they must be the ones who were going to teach this class. The man was older than Clint, but not an old man yet.

Clint eyes were drawn to the ring on the man’s left ring finger. The woman next to him had a ring on her left ring finger as well. Clint wondered if, based on their shared surnames, they were married. The woman didn’t look like someone he wanted to cross: her face was stern and uninviting. Clint felt a shiver run down his spine.

“You okay?” Darcy asked him.

“Yes, fine. Just a little worried how I’m going to do in this class.” Clint admitted.

Darcy followed his line of sight. “Oh….don’t worry about it. Both of our teachers are cool, you’ll get to know them as the semester goes on.”

“How do you know that?”

“To me, they are Aunt Melinda and Uncle Phil.” Darcy quietly told him. Clint eyes widened a bit.

“Am I going to have to sit through the third degree, since you’re sitting next to me?” Clint asked.

“Don’t worry about it, they only did that to my boyfriend, and only when we started to date.” Darcy replied.

“Boyfriend?”

“Pietro Maximoff. He’ is the captain of the track team here.”

“Oh….okay.”

Phil Coulson cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.

“Hello. My name is Phil Coulson, and this is my wife, Melinda. We are going to be teaching this class.” Phil started, as he looked over at the stack of paper that Melinda carried.

“What is coming around is the syllabus. We will be going over it, as well as what we expect from you, and what not to expect from us.”  
Clint knew there would be a lot of work. He hoped Natalia was up for some study sessions. He knew they probably didn’t have the same class, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t help each other out. He and Darcy would probably be studying together since they were in the same class; it would be nice to add to that.

It didn’t take long for things to settle down. His school year had started, and it wasn’t what he’d expected it to be. He knew classes weren’t going to be easy, but it was definitely something to keep his mind occupied; things were a bit harder than he anticipated, but with the help of Natalia and Darcy he’d gotten into a routine which include them being around. Clint was grateful for his new friends.

 

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Four months into the classes and everything was good. Currently, Clint was working on an assignment due in a week.

He’d spent the last couple of hours working, when a knock on his door stopped him. He rubbed his hands over his face. He was tired, but he couldn’t go to sleep yet. He needed to finish his assignment for his English class. He turned to the open door, and saw Darcy.

“Hey, you look tired.”

“I’m fine,” he sighed.

“Do you need any help?”

“Yeah, I need you to look over this assignment. I want to make sure I’m not missing a thing.” Clint said.

“Sure,” Darcy agreed, as he handed a copy of his work to her. Darcy took a seat in the chair next to him and began marking up his paper. Watching her comments grow, he knew he had a lot of work ahead of him before he turned the assignment. At last, Darcy made a final correction on the last page, before laying down the pen.

“You’ve got the assignment. I just made some minor corrections,” Darcy said, as she handed his assignment back to him. Clint took a moment to look over the corrections Darcy had made. He could fix this in a few minutes; best of all, her notations were easy to make sense of. He wanted to see if she could help him with his book; that was, if he does decide after all to let her read his story.

“Thank you,” Clint murmured, as he set the paper on his desk. Making up his mind, he then he went over to the binders which held his story. He picked them up and carefully handed them to her. Darcy eyes widened a bit.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

“Just let me know what you think of the story once you’ve read the whole thing.” Clint said, as he went back and sat down.

“Thank you!”

 

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A week later, as he was heading back to his room after class, he noticed a young, pregnant man struggling to reach some papers he had dropped on the ground. Clint watched as everyone else either passed him by, or just watched. He knew there was no way the man was going to get those papers without some kind of help, especially when he couldn’t even seem to see his own toes. Clint didn’t even have to think about helping man pick up the papers. He handed the last of them over and grinned.

“Thanks,” the guy chuckled, giving him a smile.

“Not a problem.”

“You just saved me from being late to my class!”

“What class?” Clint asked, as he kept an eye out to make sure the man got to class okay without any other problems.

“It’s English, with Mr. and Mrs. Coulson. I’m Matt, by the way: Matthew Murdock.”

“Clint, and I just came from that class; let me walk you there. Just in case something falls again. Don’t want you missing their class.” Clint said, as they started to walk.

“Okay. Thanks for your help! Can I ask why you’re being nice to me, though?” Matt pressed Clint.

Clint stayed quiet for a few moments, then answered, “I would think people would do the kinds of things for others that they would want to be done for them. That’s all.”

“That’s a good way of looking at things. So… Do you think we could hang out and study some time?”

Clint thought about that for a minute. He wasn’t going to play games with anyone, but - as long as this guy knew he wasn’t out to find a partner - he didn’t see how making another friend out of Matt could hurt.

“We can hang out, but I want to make it clear, so there isn’t any misunderstanding. We will only be studying, period. That’s all.”

“What other kind of studying is there?” Matt asked, eyebrow raised.

“There isn’t. I’m not someone who likes to play with other people's emotions. Right now that’s as far as I’m willing to go. I’m just here to get an education.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll have my hands full once the twins come, anyway. But it is good to lay all our cards out on the table, just so there’s no misunderstandings, too.”

“Exactly. So, Matt, do you live in the dorms, or do you have your own apartment?”

“I live in the Cross Dormitory on the second floor.”

“Wow! We’re in the same dorm, just on different floors. I’m live on the third.”

“That’s cool to know,” Matt laughed.

As they finally reached the classroom, Matt grinned, “Thank you for the help, Clint. Here’s to hoping we see each other around later. It’ll be nice to have someone else around while I study.”

That night, Clint got another surprise on Facebook. Steve had removed himself from Clint’s friend list, some time in the last couple of months. Clint wanted to know why, but college got busy, and he pushed finding out why to the back of his mind. He wanted to graduate college and do something with his life. He stopped checking his Facebook page after that.

 

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He was pretty good at football, and it kept him busy. Practices were grueling, and harder classes meant that he was working harder in both areas of his life. Of course, he got bruises after practice, but thought nothing of it. He just made sure he covered them up, and didn’t make a big deal about it if someone accidentally bumped into one. There were a couple of close calls, but he was able to brush them off. He needed to concentrate on his school work and football - whining about simple bruises wouldn’t do anything productive.

Clint noticed there were probably more bruises than could be explained by practice, and figured he was getting clumsy, so he tried harder to make sure he pay attention to what he was doing. He really started to get worried when bruises started to appear all over his body, more than, and in spite of, what happened at practice. If things got worse, then he would go and get checked out. Clint barely had time to go back home to visit as it was, though. When he, did he was always glad to see his brother, even if it never lasted long. He was also busy, so he really didn’t have any real free time to himself. When he did, he usually slept.

He reached over and hit the snooze button to silence the noise of his alarm clock. It was a couple of moments before he removed the covers and swung his feet over the side of the bed. Lately he’d been tired, and it was getting harder and harder to start the day.

Natalia was a good friend. Clint knew she cared about him just like a brother, and he considered her the sister he’d never had. She kept asking him when he was going to see a doctor, unwilling to go so far as to smother to him, but also very aware that there was something wrong. He replied ‘soon’ each time. One of these times, he suspected that she’d be tired enough of him dancing around the subject that she was going to make him go in. Maybe he would finally take her advice and go see Doctor Banner when he went home this weekend

As far as right now was concerned, though, he was most focused on getting himself motivated to just get out of bed. It took him ten minutes and more, where he used to be up and ready in five flat, without trying.

After a shower, and a small coffee when his stomach turned over at the sight of food, he headed to the locker room. When he got there he got a surprise: In the coach’s office stood both an old friend, and a former one. Confused, and cautious, he knocked to announce his presence.

“Barton, these two are going to be your new teammates.” Coach Rumlow told him.

“Barton, it is good to see you! How have you been?” Thor asked.

“It’s been good. You two are just in time for the game.” Clint replied. Thor moved over and hugged him. Thor then stepped back so Steve could give him a hug also, but Steve didn’t move.

“Barton,” Steve flatly said.

“Rogers.”

Coach Rumlow looked at all three of them. “I take it you three knew one another before coming here?”

All three nodded.

“We were on the same high school football team together.” Clint admitted.

“Well, there’s no practice since we have our first game tonight. So do whatever you need to do and be ready to play tonight.” Brock told the three as he stood up and headed out of office. He turned to Thor at the last minute. “Odison, come with me.”

Thor followed Brock. It left Steve and Clint in the office alone. Steve looked around the room, taking in everything but Clint.

“Steve, can I ask you why’d you take yourself off my friend list on Facebook?” Clint asked quietly.

Steve looked at him. He opened his mouth then closed it, and he opened it again then he closed it once more. Then he just looked at Clint.

“Fine then; don’t tell me.” Clint sighed. He turned and left the room. Clint didn’t even bother to look to see if Steve had followed him or not.

Clint got to the locker room and paused; his left shoe was untied, and about to come off. He sat down on the bench, bracing himself for the pain he knew bending over would cause. He bent over, determined to work quickly, but it was only a few seconds before he started to feel light headed. He had a shoelace in each hand, but was definitely more focused on not passing out.

Clint vision went fuzzy, when his eyes opened there was a worried looking Steve, holding out his cell phone to Clint. Clint raised an eyebrow before he took it, putting it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Clint, baby, are you okay?” a worried voice asked.

“Bucky?”

“Yes, it’s me, sweetheart.”

Clint wasn’t sure if this was real or not. He missed Bucky’s voice so much though, that he was willing to believe it was him. He was so tired; he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he was already asleep, and dreaming. It would make sense for his dreams to give him Bucky. He was just going to let his mind go with this waking dream. It was easier to live in a dream than then in a reality where Bucky no longer loved him.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too. Baby, how long have you’ve been feeling like this?”

Clint was always honest with Bucky no matter what. He wasn’t about to start lying now. “About a few months before we broke up. Each time I felt bad I would set an appointment for the doctor, but when the time came for the appointment the feeling was gone, so I would cancel. After we broke up, I focused on not being a screw up for my brother’s sake, so I concentrated focus on my classes and football, and didn’t really start feeling bad until today. It hurts all over.” Clint admitted

“Fuck, why didn’t you say something back then?” Bucky asked.

“Didn’t really think anything was wrong back then.”

“Baby, listen to me please. Steve is going to drive you to the hospital and you are going to get checked out. Please go with him and don’t fight it. Everything is covered. Please just do this for me.”

“Okay.” Clint automatically replied.

“Hand the phone back to Steve, please.” Bucky prompted, and as Clint did as he asked. It wasn’t long before he Clint was being helped into Steve’s car. He fell asleep before they even left the parking lot of the university.

 

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Clint opened his eyes to a familiar room. He looked around his eyes fell on a poster with Tony Stark reading to a younger child. It was then that he knew he was in a hospital room at Stark Memorial, in Blaire, Michigan.

He was home, but he had no idea how he had gotten there.

A phone vibrated on the side table, and, seeing no one around, he picked it up. There was a message from Bucky. It was then he recalled the conversation he had with Bucky before he woke up here. It was a good thing his phone was out of power: now he could figure what was going on, with the excuse of having no phone of his own if he was caught.

Clint pressed on the phone screen. A moment later he pushed the message icon, bringing up the last conversation. He was lucky, because that conversation was with Bucky.

Clint opened up, reading the last text first.

_Is Clint okay?_

Clint looked down at the phone. It was then he put two and two together. Steve was the other guy who Bucky broke up with him for. Clint wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what they talked about, but he was curious. He slowly scrolled down. The next few messages only asked Steve to take care of him. Clint wasn’t sure what was going on. He continue to scrolled down. Then there was a text that made him pause.

_So for the last name is it going to be just Barnes or is it going to be Barton-Barnes or Barnes-Barton?_

The reply was: _I’m going to have to discuss that with Clint soon. How can I tell him this was the reason I broke up with him?_

Steve had responded with: _He is going to know sooner or later. It best if you get it over with sooner rather than later._

Clint was slightly confused as to exactly what was Bucky going to tell him; it was hard to pick out the context clues. Whatever it was, was it Bucky’s reason for breaking up with him?

Clint scrolled down slowly, then stopped suddenly. There, looking straight at him, was a picture of Bucky with his hair grown out a little longer, and in his arm he held a baby.

The baby was facing the camera, and it’s eyes were closed. Bucky was smiling, even though he looked tired. The smile didn’t reach his eyes. The caption underneath read the picture was **It’s a Girl!!!!!!!**

Bucky had been pregnant, that was what this was all about. Clint remembered now how they’d talked about children: he’d been an idiot and told Bucky he didn’t want kids right then. If he had known Bucky was pregnant, of course, things would have gone differently!

Clint was a complete asshole. He shut himself off from everything and everyone. If he would have let his brother bring up Bucky every once in a while, he would have known what Bucky had gone through. Here it was that he’d thought Bucky wanted nothing to do with him, when in fact he had carried a part of Clint for nine months before giving birth to their daughter! He needed to make things right between them. No matter what happened. Bucky was his world, and he was going to make sure Bucky knew that from now on.

It was then that Steve walked into the room. “You’re up.”

Clint, realizing that he still held the phone in his hand, offered up his excuse as he closed out of the messages program with a quick swipe of his fingers. “Yeah, just wanted checked my e-mail. I hope you don’t mind.”

He handed Steve’s phone back to him.

“Okay. You’re in good hands now,” Steve assured him.

“Steve. I am not going to be able to afford to pay the bills after all the testing is done, let alone pay for the treatment if I do get any.” Clint admitted to his former friend.

“You're covered.”

“No, I’m not.” Clint insisted.

“You’re on Buck’s insurance.” Steve responded. Clint just looked at him. He and Bucky hadn’t talked since they broke up. How the hell had Bucky convinced his employer to put Clint on his insurance when they weren’t together?

“How?” Clint asked Steve.

“I’ll let him explain that to you.” Steve told him as he put his phone away. Then he glanced over at the door. “I’ll let Doctor Banner know you’re awake. I’m sure he’d like to go over your results with you.”

Clint just nodded, and Steve slipped away once more.

“Mr. Barton,” Doctor Banner calmly announced his presence as he entered, Steve in tow. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

“Hey Doctor Banner, how’s everything with you?”

“Everything is going well. I have your results, though, if you would like to hear them.” Bruce informed him, before glancing pointedly at Steve.  
Clint had to decide whether or not if he wanted to hear the diagnosis; the unreadable expression on the doctor’s face wasn’t helping him decide.

“Yes, I would like to hear the news,” Clint told him.

“I’m going to get some coffee,” Steve said, and he slipped out before Clint could say anything. Clint wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the news alone or not. He hoped it wasn’t all bad, at least.

“Clint, how long have you been feeling like this?” Doctor Banner asked him.

“I’ve been feeling like this off and on for a few months. Why do you ask?”

“You have multiple myeloma cancer,” Bruce revealed, watching Clint carefully. Clint was quiet for a few moments.

“How?” he finally managed to whisper.

“It’s unclear how you got cancer, but we do have treatments. Would you like some time to let it sink in?”

Clint nodded.

“Just let one of the nurses know when you are ready to talk about your options.”

Clint just nodded again. He had people who loved him, so he wasn’t about to give up without a fight. He needed to resolve things with Bucky first before anything else, though.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but there was a knock on the door which got his attention. He looked up to see Bucky standing there in a business suit. Bucky looked handsome in a suit. His his expression was cautious.

“Bucky, I...” Clint started, as tears formed in his eyes. Bucky was by his side without hesitation. He was about to lay a hand on Clint’s own but stopped. Clint saw the doubt, and he moved instead, intertwining their fingers. “I’m sorry I was an asshole,”

Bucky looked at him with wide eyes. “You’re not an asshole.”

“No, I was. Why didn’t you tell me? It would have made things different.” Clint admitted to him.

“You had your life ahead of you, and I wasn’t going to stand in the way of that,” Bucky explained as he gave his hand a little squeeze. Clint gave him a smiled in return.

“Bucky, you are part of my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I know, baby.”

Bucky ran his other hand through Clint’s hair. Clint sighed. “I’ve missed this.”

“So did I.”

“Where does this leave us?” Clint asked Bucky before making a decision about the news he received.

“Where do you want it to leave us?” Bucky prodded.

Clint knew then exactly what he wanted, but first, he had to keep Bucky in the loop. “I want to do something, but first I need to tell you some bad news. After that, if you need time to think, I will give it to you.”

“What’s the bad news?” Bucky asked worriedly.

“Bucky,” Clint paused as he took a deep breath before continuing. “I have multiple myeloma cancer.”

Bucky’s facial expression changed a few times. Clint waited, uncertain what, exactly, he was expecting Bucky’s reaction to be.

“I love you, and I am not leaving you side. We will beat this.” Bucky said, as he brought their entwined hands up and kissed Clint’s skin. Clint smiled. Against his skin, Bucky murmured, “Marry me, Clint.”

Clint looked at Bucky. He wasn’t sure he heard right. “Did you just asked me to marry you?”

Bucky clasped and unclasped his hands. He looked at Clint.

“Yes,” Bucky softly replied.

“The answer is yes,”

Bucky smiled and then leaned over and gave him a kissed him on the lips.

“Let me find a priest to marry us,” Bucky announced, standing up and headed out of the room.

Clint had a smile on his face when Bucky left the room. All he knew was that he was going to fight for this. He had so much to live for, and he had thrown away the time he could have spent with Bucky because of something he had said a while back. He knew he would never get that time back, so he wasn’t going to spend time on something he couldn’t change. He had to live in the here and now.

Clint knew it might be a good idea to let his coach know what was going on. He considered the friends he had here to a part of his family, and they had a right to know what was going on with him, too. He used the hospital phone on his bed side table to make his calls.

“Hello?”

“Hey Talia, how’s it going?”

“It’s okay. Darcy’s away for the week. I miss you I haven’t seen you all day. Are you ready for the game tonight?” Natalia asked him.

“I’m not going to be playing.”

“Why not?”

“I’m in the hospital.”

“Is everything okay?” Natalia’s concerned voice asked.

“No. It turns outI have multiple myeloma cancer.” The line was silent for a few moments. Clint wasn’t sure if she was still there  or not.

“Clint, I am here for you. Let me know what you need.”

“Thank you. I wanted to let you know myself, before you heard from someone else.”

“You’re welcome. I have better get going: I have class in five minutes. Call me if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

Natalia hung up.

Clint needed to call his brother and his coach as well. The door opened he looked up only to see Steve walk in.

“Hey. Feeling a bit better?” Steve asked him.

“Just a bit. Just making the calls. I have to call my brother and the coach and let them know what’s going on.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve talked to the coach and let him know. Your brother is on his way here, after he gets off of work.” Steve told him.

Clint looked over at Steve. “Steve I want to thank you for watching out for Bucky. I know I’ve been a complete idiot with him. I’m determined to make it up to him.”

“Clint, if you hurt him this time around, lover or not, I will make sure you don’t have the chance to hurt him again.” Steve's quiet, dangerous voice told him. It took Clint a few moments of studying to figure it out the intensity behind the threat.

“You’re in love with him,” Clint said as he watched Steve’s eyes widen a bit. “I’m glad there’s someone who will be there for them if I don’t make it.”

“Don’t talk like that. If Bucky hears you, it’ll kill him.” Steve told him.

“I will promise you this: I will fight until I can fight no longer. I wasted enough time not being with the man I love. I am not leaving without a fight.”

“Good.”

Steve had sat down in the chair next to the bed. It was a few minutes before the door opened again. Bucky came in with a priest behind him.

“Found one,” Bucky told him. Steve gave Bucky a questioning look.

“Clint and I are getting married.” Bucky told him.

Steve looked over at Clint then at Bucky. He quickly put a smile on his face.

“I am happy for both of you,” Steve said as he got up and hugged both Bucky and Clint.

The priest looked over at them. He asked, “Is there a second witness?”

“Yes, there is. I need to get him.” Bucky said as he left the room for a few moments, returning with Bruce in tow. He looked a little confused, but once he saw the priest, he figured out what was happening.

“Okay, we may proceed,” the priest said. Bucky went over to Clint’s side, and they both looked at the priest.

“We are gathered here today to bring together,” the priest started, then looked at Clint and Bucky for prompting.

“Clinton Francis Barton and James Buchanan Barnes,” Bucky said.

“Clinton Francis Barton and James Buchanan Barnes in holy matrimony. They are pledging their love to one another, until death do them part.”

Clint looked over and mouthed the words ‘I love you’ to Bucky. Bucky mouthed it back to him. The priest looked at him. “I was told the couple wanted to say their own vows. Bucky, you wanted to begin?”

Bucky looked into Clint’s eyes. “Clint, you are the world to me. Ever since we met, I knew you were the one for me. I made some choices which kept us apart. Now that we are together, I am not going to let you go. You are my other half. I vow to you right here, and now, that I will be faithful to you until death do us part.”  
His only regret was the misunderstanding they had which kept them apart for so long.

“Clint, it’s your turn.” the priest said.

Clint looked at Bucky. “Bucky my love. You are the only one for me. You’ve filled my life with joy and happiness. When I hurt you, it was the worst time in my life. I am glad we cleared up the misunderstanding. From here on out, I will be faithful to you. I love you and will cherish you until death do us part.”

“The rings, please.” the priest requested. Bucky picked up two paper origami rings from the table next to the bed. They were clearly his work, even if Clint hadn’t seen him make them.

“I know it’s not much, but it’s what we have until we can get real rings,” Bucky told them.

“It's good,” Clint said.

Bucky slipped the ring onto Clint’s left ring finger and then gave Clint the other ring, so he could do the same for Bucky. They looked at the priest. He declared, “With the power vested in me in the state of Michigan, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom.”

Bucky kissed Clint gently on the lips, unwilling to risk hurting him by deepening the kiss any further. When they broke apart, they were both smiling. Clint’s dream had come true. He knew things were not going to be all peachy from here on out, but he was prepared to face it together with Bucky.

“Now we just need to get the marriage certificate filled out and turned in.” The priest said as he headed out, but not before getting Bruce and Steve to sign as a witness on the marriage certificate when he brought it to them. He then got Bucky and Clint’s signatures, too, to make it official.

Slowly, everyone left the room. The priest slipped out the door to attend to other things - though not before informing them that he’d be back later to drop off the official, notarized certificate to the newly-married couple. Bruce left to do his rounds. Steve went to go grab some dinner from the cafeteria.

It, conveniently, left Bucky and Clint alone in the room. However, Bucky’s phone rang before anything could happen.

“Barnes,” Bucky said. It was a few moments before he said anything. “Yes. You can drop her off at the hospital room 438.”

“Our daughter is on the way in,” Bucky told him, after hanging up. Clint smiled. He had the family he wanted.

“So who is watching our daughter?” Clint asked curiously, delighted at the words coming out of his mouth: our daughter.

“Pepper Potts.”

“Okay, happy to know it’s someone we both know and trust.”

“Yes. Pepper, Steve, Tony, and Howard have been there to help out since… well, since I found out I was pregnant. Your brother and my sister were there to help, also.” Bucky told him. Clint was glad that Bucky had people who cared about him enough to help him through his hard time.

“So, can I ask where you work?”

“I work at Stark Industry doing data entry,” Bucky told him. Clint wasn’t sure what to say to that. “The hours are reasonable, plus Howard understands my situation. Pepper is my nanny, too. She’s been there to help out a lot.”

A knock on the door interrupted anything else Bucky might’ve said.

“Come in,” Bucky said. The door opened to reveal the very woman in question, holding a child wrapped in a light purple blanket. The blanket had the name Braelynn Natalia Barnes-Barton sewn on it in purple thread. He noticed, too, that underneath the name there was an arrow. The baby was sleeping.

Clint didn’t realize he had tears in his eyes until Bucky wiped them away for him. Pepper stood there with her mouth open when she saw who was in the bed. It took a couple of minutes before she was able to say anything.

“I assume you guys made up?” Pepper asked. Bucky looked over at Clint. Clint wasn’t sure how the others would react when they found out that Clint and Bucky were married.

“It’s about time,” Pepper said. Both Clint and Bucky nodded.

“Yeah. You could say that.” Bucky said as he held up his left hand, showing off to Pepper the paper ring wrapped around one particular finger. Pepper's eyes widened a bit, and her mouth fell open. It wasn’t until Braelynn started to move did regain enough wits to close her mouth and walk over to them.

“Congratulations.” Pepper said as she handed the baby to Bucky.

“Thank you.” Bucky and Clint replied in unison. Bucky looked down at Braelynn and smiled at her. “Hey, Bree. I want you to meet your other dad: Clint.”  
Having said that, Bucky handed her to Clint to hold. Clint gingerly wrapped his arms around his daughter. Both he and Bucky looked down at her, and knew that things were finally going right for them again. Whatever may come, they were going to handle it together. Quietly, Pepper left them to their family bonding.

Soon, it was late enough that visiting hours were over. Since Clint and Bucky were married, Bucky was allowed to stay past visiting hours. Pepper had brought over what they would need for an overnight stay, too, which made things even easier.

He hadn’t quite decided what to do, so he was glad Bucky and Braelynn were there with him. Clint wanted to know what Bucky thought about what was going on. He made plans to talk to Bucky when they woke up tomorrow. With Bucky and a sleeping Braelynn keeping watch over him, it wasn’t hard to fall asleep; he did so with happy thoughts going through his mind.

 

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Clint woke up to Bucky kissing him. He had a smile on his face.

“I can get used to this,” Clint said he looked over at Bucky.

“I will do that from now on,” Bucky told him. Clint looked at the clock. It was a little after nine in the morning.

“What time do you have to be at work?” Clint asked his husband.

“Howard gave me the day off.”

“Really? How did that happen?”

“I let Howard know what’s going on. He said he understood, and he told me to take as much time as I need. Didn’t say were married yet, though. I wanted to tell Barney and

Rebecca first.” Bucky said nervously.

“Bucky, we are in this together. Don’t worry about it: we will tell them together, too.” Clint assured him.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. By the way, both Rebecca and Barney are on their way in right now.” Bucky revealed. Before either of them could say anything to that, Braelynn let out a startling cry. Bucky, expression knowing, went over and picked her up. “Okay, clearly, someone needs a diaper change.”

“Let me,” Clint offered as he held out his arms.

Bucky handed Braelynn to Clint, and then passed over the necessary items. Clint laid a blanket down as Bucky watched. When the baby began to fuss at his unfamiliar hands, Clint started to sing to her. Instantly, Braelynn stopped crying and watched Clint. It was over far faster than Clint expected. Clint gratefully handed the dirty diaper to Bucky to throw out.

“You’re a natural at changing diapers.” A voice said from the doorway.

They both looked up to see Barney and Rebecca at the door.

“I am glad you two have made up. Maybe now I can get my brother back. This version of you without Clint in your life is a version I don’t want to see ever again.” Rebecca admitted.

Bucky and Clint glanced at one another, wary. They knew it was better if they told Barney and Rebecca their news before their two siblings found out from someone else. Instead of saying anything, Bucky and Clint both held up their ring finger to show Barney and Rebecca the evidence.

Barney and Rebecca's eyes widened a bit.

“When did this happen?” Barney asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

“Yesterday, about five minutes after I got here,” Bucky confessed. Rebecca didn’t say anything; instead, she just walked out of the room. Barney had frozen a moment before he realized what had happened. All three men stared at the open doorway in silence.

“I’ll talk to her,” Barney said as he started to leave the room.

Bucky moved over and put a hand on Barney’s shoulder. “No, let me.”

As Bucky left the room, Barney turned back to his brother. “Is everything okay with you?”

“No,” Clint admitted, choosing to confess in this relative moment of privacy to his brother. “Everything's not okay with me.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I have cancer,” Clint said as he watched his brother’s reaction. Barney went still, and with his expression unreadable, Clint wasn’t sure if his brother was still with him. Nervous, and seeking physical comfort, Clint held Braelynn, who was content to quietly watch Clint.

Barney turned and walked out of the room. He didn’t say a word to Clint. It was eerily reminiscent of Becca’s own exit; Clint supposed you really did begin to mirror the one you loved, after long enough. Clint would have gone after his brother, but had Braelynn in his arms. He hoped Bucky would catch him and let him know what was going on, at the very least. Things weren’t going so well with the family members.

He did hope the news went a little smoother when he told his other friends. He knew football was out of the question. Football was a rough sport with physical contact. He had enough money saved up to pay for at least two years’ worth of college when he lost his football scholarship.

He would have to figure out how things were going to work as far as college went for now, too. He wasn’t sure exactly how things were going to be, now that he was sick. Things were piling up, and Clint needed some time to figure things out.

Abruptly, Braelynn interrupted his worried train of thought by starting to fuss. He had just changed her diaper, so she didn't need to be changed, and he was holding her right now, so the only other option it could be was she needed to be fed.

Clint pulled the table with the diaper bag on it towards him. He opened it to find a bottle ready to use. Clint took the cap off of the bottle then put the bottle to Braelynn’s lips.

She’d consumed half the bottle by the time Bucky came back in.

“Where is your sister?” Clint asked Bucky.

“She's talking with your brother. By your brother’s expression, I take it you told him the news about the cancer.” Bucky said as he watched Clint.

“Yes, I did.” Clint admitted to him. Clint looked up at him. “Did you tell your sister?”

“I did. It was after I explained to her about our wedding. She’s not happy with me for doing that, but she understands.”

“I bet. We have a lot to talk about.” Clint said as he looked down to see the bottle was now empty. Clint put the empty bottle next to the diaper bag, and pulled out a burping cloth to lay over his left shoulder. He put Braelynn against the burping cloth, and he gently patted her on the back.

“You're pretty good with her.”

“Thanks. I’ve been practicing.” Clint admitted to him.

He had been helping Matt out, so he knew what he need to do. His college life was full. If he wasn’t in class, then he would be practicing or studying, or he was helping Matt out with the classes before the twins arrived. When he had the time in between all that, Clint wrote in his novel.

For a long moment, Bucky was silent; Braelynn’s burp was loud in the suddenly-oppressive quiet. Then he murmured, without looking at Clint, “Let’s see if we can get her to sleep.”

Automatically, Clint swayed on the balls of his feet, and started to sing to her again; he really was a natural. It didn’t take long for her to fall back asleep. Bucky took her out of Clint’s arms and put her in her car seat, laying her blanket around her.

Parenting done for the moment, and mind a touch clearer for the time to think, Bucky turned his attention back to Clint. “So. How do you know how to care for babies? Because you sure didn’t before you left for college.”

Clint’s eyes widened at the insinuation, and rushed to clarify, “It’s not what you think.”

“Really?”

“I’m helping Matt - a friend I met on campus - during his pregnancy. All he is is a friend, I swear it, Bucky. I love you.” Clint answered in a whisper. He couldn’t bring himself to watch his husband take in this news; what if the other man took it the wrong way? It went quiet again for a few moments. It wasn’t until Bucky put a hand on his did he look up.

“Clint.” Bucky’s eyes were clear, and a corner of his mouth was lifted in wry pride.

“Yes?”

“I’m glad you are helping him in his time of need. I didn’t know how you were going to deal with me being pregnant, so I broke up with you instead of telling you. It’s the one thing I regret. I’m glad we are together now, and you having a pregnant friend doesn’t change the way that we feel about each other. Let me know if there’s anything you need. I am more than happy to help a friend of my husband.”

“Thank you,” Clint sighed, the last of the tension seeping out of his shoulders. Crisis of one sort averted, Clint’s mind returned to the problems still at hand. “How are things going to work now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean: What am I going to do for my cancer treatment? How about school? My friends? Where are we going to live?”

“Baby, calm down. We’ll figure it out. Let’s take each of your issues one at a time and talk about them. I am sure you want to understand what you are going through first, before we do anything else. The cancer is our biggest, most immediate concern.” Bucky started.

Clint just nodded his head, accepting this proposed plan.

“Okay. We can see Doctor Banner, and he can tell us the options you have. Then we can discuss them, unless or until you know what you want to do.”

“Okay.” Clint replied.

“So we have made a temporary decision on how to begin to deal with the cancer. Now we can figure out some of the rest.”

“Sounds good to me. How about school and my friends?”

“I think we might want to wait to figure out school until we know what we are going to do with the treatment you are getting for your cancer.”

Clint looked at Bucky. He was handling this so well. Clint had to admit Bucky had grown since they’d been apart. “That sounds like a good idea. I’ve already told Natalia that I have cancer, but I haven’t told Darcy or Matt. I am sure my friends will visit with me if I end up being in the hospital. I am sure the coach would need to know, too - I can’t just stop showing up to games or practices without warning.” Clint admitted.

“I can help you contact people. It’s not a big deal, as long as you can get me their phone numbers,” Bucky offered.

Relieved, Clint smiled. “Thank you. How about where will we live?”

“Actually, why don’t we wait on that, too, until you get the cancer treatment figured out? It will be easier to deal with when we know what kind of things we’re going to have to do for you.”

“Okay. Do you mind getting Doctor Banner for me? So I can find the next step to beating this?”  
Bucky agreed, and left Clint to go hunt the doctor in question down. He soon reappeared with Doctor Banner in tow. Things were, to Clint, suddenly moving along quite fast.

“Clint,” Bruce greeted easily, “Have you had some time to adjust alright? What about questions?”

“I want to go over the treatment for my cancer.”

“Okay. We have a few possible options we can discuss. You can take the pills, or you can go with chemotherapy.” Bruce said.

“Is there any reading materials I can go over for these choices? I can make my decision when I know which will best work for me, and what the side-effects and expected issues are of both the pill and the chemotherapy.”

“Yes, there is. Let me go print the pamphlets up for you; then you can go over the information with your husband.” Bruce said.

“That would be great. Thank you for taking the time to take care of me.”

“You’re welcome, it’s my pleasure. I’ll be right back.” Bruce said as he nodded to both of them before leaving the room. It wasn’t long before Bruce returned with the information requested.

Clint and Bucky read over the glossy pages of statistics, side-effects, and what-to-expect notes from other patients. They discussed both options, and in the end Clint opted to take the pills first. If he got better, then it was going good. If he didn’t, then they would up the ante and do chemotherapy. Bruce wrote the prescription out and processed the exit paperwork so Clint could leave the hospital. Bucky went and filled the prescription after he got Braelynn settled.

“Clint, where do you want to head now?” Bucky asked.

“I want to sleep, but it might be a good idea if I head back to school. I still have to figure out what to do about my schooling, and what better place than my dorm? It also works because then I can just let my friends know, face-to-face, what’s going on with me. Plus, then you can meet them. That would be nice.”  
Bucky smiled easily at Clint, “Okay.”

 

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It took Bucky forty minutes to get to the college. Clint slept the whole way there. When they arrived, he woke Clint up to get directions to the parking lot. It didn’t take long to park. Bucky carried Braelynn while Clint showed him to his dorm room. Clint got out the extra chair he had, and Bucky sat down. Clint sat next to Braelynn.

“This is a decent place.” Bucky said as he looked around his room.

Before Clint could reply, there was a knock on the door.

Both Clint and Bucky looked up to see Natalia. She glanced between them, before zeroing in on Clint. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’m doing okay.” Clint sighed, before gesturing over at Bucky. “Natalia, this is James Barnes.”

Bucky stood up and held out her hand for her to shake automatically, always a gentleman. “Nice to meet you. Your last name isn’t by chance Romanova, is it?”

“Yes, it is. Why do you ask?”

“You might know me better as Bucky Barnes,” Bucky said.

“Bucky Barnes as in Bucky Barnes my pen pal?”

“Yup! It’s nice to meet you, finally.”

“Same here. So I take it your life got better since the last letter we exchanged.”

“Yeah, it has.”

“That’s great to hear.” Natalia flashed a familiar grin at Bucky, and he grinned back.  
   
“Yeah. Now my life is a lot better than before.”  
Clint looked over at Bucky. “How long have you two been pen pals?”

“We've been pen pals since I was nine; we’ve been friends about a few weeks after that.”

Natalia smiled again. Clint looked at both of them, bewildered. Not once since they’d been together had he mentioned her, nor had he hear about her once he and Bucky’d gotten over getting broken up.

“It never came up, so I didn't say anything.” Bucky said, as he gave a reassuring look.

Natalia’s eyes fell on the paper rings on both of their ring fingers. “I take it you two tied the knot.”

Both Bucky and Clint nodded their heads. Clint sighed, “Yes, not too many people know we’re married yet. If you can not say anything for a while, that would be great.”

“Sure.”

A whine emerged from the car seat next to Clint. He lifted the blanket to reveal Braelynn’s widely-blinking eyes. Clint unclicked her from her car seat and pulled her easily into his arms.

“Oh...who is this cutie?” Natalia asked.

“This is my daughter, Braelynn,” Clint started, as he looked down at her. “Braelynn, this is Natalia. Natalia is a good friend of… I guess, both of your dads.”

Natalia moved over to Clint’s side. She looked down at Braelynn, her normally stern face softened and a corner of her mouth curling gently up. Clint looked at Bucky, then he looked over at Natalia before looking back. The two shared a nod; they both more-than trusted her, in their own ways.

“Would you like to hold her?”

“Not right now.” Natalia said as she took a couple of steps back from him. Clint looked at her. He wasn’t sure what to say to that; he wasn’t used to being on this end of this kind of offer. Clint turned his attention back to his daughter for something to do, as Natalia and Bucky focused on one another.

“So Bucky, how’s working going for you right now?”

“It’s okay. I got time off to help Clint.” Bucky told her.

“That’s good to know. So what are you guys doing here now?”

“Clint wants to get a handle on school right now, so I am here to help him.”

"I'm more than happy to help you both, too, should you need it.”  
Reminded that he was part of the conversation, and not just the father to his daughter, Clint spoke up, grateful and relieved at her show of support. “Thank you, Natalia. Would you happen to know where Matt and Darcy are?”

“Matt is in his room at the moment. Darcy is at her parents’ house for a week. She’ll be back in three days.”

“Okay. I think I want to go and visit Matt. I’m going to tell him I have cancer. I’m not sure how he’s going to take the news, but I have to tell him. I don’t want to end up lying to him.” Clint said as he stood up with Braelynn still in his arms. Bucky came to his side and took her from him.

“Okay. We will see you later, Natalia. Looks like we’re going to see Matt now.” Bucky bid his pen pal farewell.

“Hey Bucky, you can call me Nat.”

Bucky looked over at her and gave her a nod. Then the woman split from the trio and went on her way. Clint walked out of his room and headed down to Matt’s room, Bucky and Braelynn trailing easily behind him. Clint could hear Matt making his way to the door as soon as he knocked. It was a few minutes before the door opened, to reveal a very-pregnant Matt.

“Clint, how are you?” Matt greeted happily, before he caught sight of Bucky, Braelynn in his arms. He turned back to Clint curiously.

“Hey, Matt. I’ve got some news. Can we come in?” Clint asked as Matt moved aside to let them in. Clint and Bucky stepped inside the room. They all took seats, silent until they got settled in.

“So what’s going on with you?”

“I want to let you know that I’ve been diagnosis with multiple myeloma cancer.” Clint said as he waited for Matt’s reaction. Matt just stared at him. Then he rapidly paled, and seemed to be grateful he’d already sat down.

“I… umm…how did it happened?” Matt asked.

“Not sure. I haven’t been feeling well for a long while. So a friend of mine decided to take me to the hospital and get me checked out. I was diagnosed with it last night. As soon as I get the prescription filled, I’ll be on medication.”

“That’s... good. Not that you have cancer, but, you know, that you’re dealing with it.” Matt mumbled, dazed, as he looked at Clint and Bucky. “And I’m glad you have someone to take care of you.”

It was then Clint realized he hadn’t introduced Bucky.

“Where are my manners? Bucky, this is Matt, and Matt, this is Bucky.” Clint said, before gesturing to the bundle in Bucky’s arms. “And the little cutie Bucky is holding is our daughter, Braelynn.”

“You have a daughter?”

“Yes, I do. It’s a surprise to me when I found out, but I am happy with my life.”

“What about college? Are there going to be any changes?”

“Yes, things are going to be a little different. I might be cutting back on class. I am going to focus on getting better.”

Matt nodded. His eyes kept curving back to the infant in Bucky’s arms, hand tracing absentmindedly over his pregnant swell. Bucky sympathized with the other man, and offered, “Matt, if you would like, you can help us with Braelynn.”

Matt looked at him, wide eyed. “Thank you. It would be an honor to assist you with your daughter.”

“You’re welcome.”

They talked about other things, and then they let an ecstatic Matt change and feed her. He did well for a first-timer, about as well as Clint, who’d learned childcare specifically for Matt’s sake, anyway. Eventually, though, they said their farewells; Bucky checked into a hotel near campus, and Clint decided to stay with his husband and daughter.

 

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The next day Clint headed to his English class early. Seated in the middle of the front row of an empty room, Clint hoped he would be able to catch one of the two Coulsons’ before class started. Luck was with Clint, as Phil walked in before any of the other students.

Phil, used to students dropping by at odd times, if only to get a one-on-one moment with him for one reason or another, took Clint’s appearance in stride. “Hey Clint, how’s it going?”

“Not too well at the moment, Mr. Coulson.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Got some bad news, but I’m dealing with it as best as I can. Part of that is letting you know what’s going on, in case it affects my presence in this class.”

“Alright. What’s wrong?”

“I have multiple myeloma cancer, and I just started treatment for it.”

It was a few moment before Phil said anything. Eventually, he sighed, and offered, “I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You’ve been helping me by teaching your class. For now, that’s all I ask. Thank you!” Clint replied. He looked at Phil and gave him a smile.

“You’re welcome.” Phil said as he turned to begin preparing for the in-coming class.

Clint was tired all morning, but he did have enough energy to stay awake for the whole class. It was then that he realized it was going to be hard to do college and try to recover at the same time - it was going to get worse before it got better. It might be best to focus on getting better at the moment. However, Clint was going to discuss it with Bucky before he did anything.

Back at the hotel, Bucky looked up from feeding Braelynn when Clint came into the room. “Hey, honey. How was your day?”

“It went okay. I need to talk to you about my education.”

“What about it?” Bucky asked him.

“I think I should focus on getting better right now. The classes I need will be there when I get better. This way I can spend time with you and Braelynn.” Clint told him.

Bucky smiled at him. “Okay, sounds good to me. You know what you want.”

“Thank you for being there for me.”

“It’s no problem. I am glad to be here for you.”

 

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As time went by, it started to look like Clint was getting better.

Pepper came by to watch Braelynn while Bucky went into work, and she also spent time with Clint. Clint had been relaxing on the couch with a sleeping Braelynn in his arms.

Slowly, he stood up and put her back in her crib. Clint has gotten used to being at Bucky's apartment; it didn’t hurt that the apartment was spacious, or that the entire apartment complex was owned by Howard Stark.

Clint watched his daughter sleep for a little while. At the rate things seemed to be going, he would be there to see her grow up, and go on dates with guys... even if he didn't want her to be dating anyone, like any sane father. Then he would watch her get married, have kids, and live her life. The future was bright.

He wasn't sure how long he had passed just watching his little girl sleep, but soon enough, Pepper came by and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, lunch is ready. Also, Bucky said he’d drop by to eat lunch with you.”

“Thank you; I'll be down in a minute,” Clint told her. He watched Pepper as she disappeared from view. After a quick moment just watching Braelynn, he closed the door and headed downstairs. Halfway down, he heard Pepper open the door for someone.Two voices he recognized echoed back up to him. One of them was clearly Bucky, but the other took him a moment to place. When he did, a grin filled his face at the sound of a friend he’d not heard from in some time.

In the front room, Peter Quill himself stood right next to Pepper. It didn't take long for Pepper, Bucky, and Peter to notice Clint.

“Hey, Clint how are you doing? I just heard about what's going on with you. I hope everything's working out for the best. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you.”

“Thanks, Peter. So far everything is actually going alright. It's great to see you! How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright. After I went to live with my uncle for a little while, I came back. Things have been different, but I was able to graduate. Now I have a job with Stark Industries, if you can believe it.”

“That's great to hear! Glad you're doing well. Would you like to join us for lunch?”

“Sure I would,” Peter agreed. Easily, Pepper went to set an extra plate.

It was nice to have a friend over that he hadn't seen in a long time. They reminisced about all the things they missed about being in each other’s lives. They talked about the things that had happened since last seeing one another. Peter was glad to see Clint, Bucky, and Pepper, and it was just as clear that the three were just as glad to see him.

The lunch wrapped up sooner than any of them would have liked, only because Bucky and Peter had to head back to work. They said their goodbyes, and once more Pepper and Clint were left to their own devices. Pepper started to clean, and Clint went to take a nap.  
Pepper glanced up at the stairs after Clint in concern. Everything seemed to have been fine for a little while, but Pepper and Bucky were already beginning to see some changes.

Clint was trying hard to deny them - and who could blame him? Nobody wanted to die - but the signs were there. Clint seemed to be sleeping a lot more than usual; he moved slower, as though small aches and pains plagued him; and he was just overall more run-down.

They held out hope that it was all in their heads. Just like Clint, nobody wanted him to die, either. It was eventually Clint, himself, who gave in. He wanted to go and get checked out again, and nothing Bucky had to say would stop him.

When the test results came back, it clearly showed that Clint's health was declining.

It was then that Bruce revealed that a bone marrow transplant was looking to be their best option, since Clint’s body was fighting the original treatments. Barney was, astoundingly, a match for Clint. The procedure didn't take very long, thankfully. Both Clint and Barney had to take it easy for a couple of days, and Clint had regular check-ups at the hospital he had to attend. The hope was that Clint would get better after this. Time would be the key to knowing whether or not their efforts had succeeded.

In the middle of all the excitement, Braelynn’s birthday was coming up. Bucky and Clint wanted to have a memorable first birthday for her, something fun and centered on their daughter, to take the edge off everyone’s worries. Of course, with Tony as her godfather, the party that was thrown was paid for and seen to by only the best. Since he wouldn’t take no for an answer, Bucky and Pepper teamed up to at least ensure that he didn’t go over the top.

In the end, the apartment was overflowing with decorations, and a magician, a big birthday cake, and lots of presents all fought for the spot of ‘most unforgettable’. Tony was spoiling his goddaughter, and starting early. Bucky and Clint couldn't bring themselves to mind; they were proud parents, and their girl deserved the best. Pepper was, of course, in the background to ensure Tony didn’t go too far.  
The birthday party went off without a hitch. It was the most fun any of them had had in months. A picture of Braelynn, cake smeared over her face, captured the moment perfectly.

 

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One day the doorbell rang. Pepper, hands full with cleaning up a messy Braelynn, couldn’t see to it. Clint was the only one who can answer the door. With some effort, he found his way to the front door, and did his best to appear put-together.

On the other side, there was a young woman who had a stack of binders in her arms; Clint didn’t recognize her. He did take a closer look at the binders, ,though, spotting something familiar. At least half of the binders in her hands were his! He had no idea what the others were, but he wanted answers.

“Are you Clint Barton?”

“Yes, I am. Who might you be, and what are you doing with items I gave to a friend in confidence?”

“My name is Skye Coulson. I'm a friend of Darcy Lewis’s. I just wanted to drop by and return these to you.” Skye said, as she held out the binders to him.  
He looked at them, then glared at her suspiciously. “Why are there so many?”

“Well, I typed them up. Don't blame Darcy for what I did! When she went on vacation, I came over - I was apartment sitting for her. I noticed the binders by the computer, and they were just sitting there! I was bored, and she usually leaves work for me to do anyway, so I started to read the first one. After that, I couldn't put them down. I was under the impression she left the binders there for me to transcribe."

She looked nervous, and Clint felt his anger ebbing away. It was too much work, and what was done was done. He glanced back down at the stack in her arms, and frowned again. There was no way he was going to be able to carry all those binders to the table. After a moment, he motioned for Skye to come in. Gingerly, she set them all on the table he indicated.

"Most of what Darcy has me do is transcribe things and get them ready for basic publishing, and then return them to the author. That’s what I’ve done here. Each of the binders are in a manuscript format, just in case you want to get them published. More than that, though - like I said, I was bored, and I really liked what you wrote - I thought about, and made, a cover for each of the binders.

She shuffled on her feet, and finally met his eyes. She was brave. With a wave at the stack, she finished, “This is the finished product. I hope you like it. I just came by to drop them off.”

Clint thumbed through a couple of the top pages, taking in all the neat lines of type, and the elegant covers. An unexpected lump filled his throat. He’d never expected to actually get to the point of publishing what he wrote, even if he daydreamed about it. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’d better get going, though. I have some other errands I need to run.” Skye told him. Clint noded, and Skye left as quickly as she’d arrived.

Clint then sat down, and he looked more closely at the wonder Skye had created of his work. The covers were eye-catching; had he not known intimately what lay behind them, he’d have wanted to know more. The back sides, too, all had a tiny blurb on the back, written to draw in the unsuspecting reader. Clint had to admit: Skye had done an excellent job.

He didn't know how much time has gone by, but Pepper was suddenly by his side. She looked over at the binders that Skye had created and paused. “Clint, where did those come from?”

“Darcy's friend Skye came over and dropped them off,” Clint said. Pepper’s interested look, and the way she couldn't quite tear her eyes away from the stacks, gave her away. Clint considered the notion of giving up his secret words to yet another person, and decided. “Go ahead and take a look at them.”

Pepper picked up one of the binders, made sure it was the first book, and looked carefully over the cover. She turned the binder to the back and read the blurb, then she turned the binder back around. With his heart in his throat, Clint watched as she opened it and started to read.

Pepper’s face was unreadable. Clint couldn't tell whether or not she was enjoying the book or not. He was nervous, to say the least. They were only two other people who had read his books. In both cases, he still didn't know what the readers had thought of his writing; both had gotten off without having to discuss it with him! He hoped Pepper enjoyed the story. He would have had to face a reader sooner or later, and was grateful that it was one of his closest friends.

Pepper read for a few minutes, and then she stopped; by then, the silence had begun to get to Clint. She looked up, and Clint was gratified to see that there was a smile on her face.

“Clint, this is not bad; it’s really good, in fact. Did you write it?”

Clint couldn’t say anything, so he just nodded mutely. Seeing the effect her words had on him, Pepper stood up and gave him a hug. “Thank you for letting me read some of that. It clearly means a lot to you.”

“You’re welcome. Would you... like to take the first book and finish it?”

“I would like that, but don’t you want to show Bucky first?” Pepper asked him. Clint froze for a second. Of course Pepper noticed.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m... fine. I just don’t know how Bucky will react when he reads it.” Clint admitted as he shuffled his feet.

Pepper put a hand on his shoulder, and murmured softly, “Clint. I am sure once you show Bucky your books, he’ll be happy to know you are following your dream.”

“Okay, I guess,” he slowly conceded. “I’m worrying about nothing. You’re right.”

When Bucky got home, he noticed the half-unfamiliar binders immediately. Clint watched nervously from his room. Bucky picked up the first binder, opened it, and started to read. After a few moments, he sat down - clearly he was in the book for the long-haul.

Clint watched Bucky read for twenty minutes before he gathered enough courage. Once at Bucky’s side, Clint gave him a kiss on the temple before murmuring, “Hey honey, how was your day at work?”

Bucky’s words were half-distracted, half-awed when he answered, “It was good. But Clint, is this the story you started a while ago?”

“Yes, it is,” Clint said as he curled into the seat next to Bucky.

“I really like it, baby. I am interested in reading the rest, too. And the covers for the books are excellent; they catch your attention well!”

“Thanks. For some reason, I wasn’t sure what you would say, so I never showed it to you. I... didn’t want to deal with the rejection, if you didn’t like what I’d written back then. I feel confident enough to show you now, though, thanks to some help from a couple friends.”

“I’m sorry you felt that way, and I am glad you finally showed it to me! Exactly when did you get them typed up?” Bucky asked curiously.

“Actually Darcy’s friend Skye did the typing and the covers. That was part of the help I was talking about.”

“You must introduce me to her, so I can thank her for the work she did for you!”

“I’ll see if I can arrange a meeting with her once I talk to Darcy.”

“It sounds like a plan,” Bucky said as Pepper came out of Braelynn’s room.

“She’s in her room playing. I’ve left the bath time and bedtime story for the two of you. I’d better head home now, though. You know how Tony gets if I’m not there when I said

I would be.”

“Thanks for the help Pepper.”

“It’s no problem. I am always willing to help friends out.”

“We will take it from here. Have a safe trip. We will see you tomorrow.” Bucky said, and said their farewells.

Bucky and Clint then got up and went to their daughter’s room. Braelynn looked up at them as they entered. A familiar, stubborn look graced her face, and as she held her arms out to be picked up, she demanded, “Play.”  
  
Amused, Clint carefully picked her up and kissed her on the forehead.

“I love you,” he told her. Her response was to simply spread her arms across Clint's chest in a tiny hug. Bucky just watched them for a moment, before Clint broke the silence again. “It’s time for your bath.”

“Bath, bath yah!” Braelynn squealed.

“How do you do it? Every time I try and give her a bath she doesn't want to take one. When you give her a bath, she is fine and gives you no trouble.” Bucky said. Then he let out a sigh of frustration, tempered by his affection for both his daughter and husband. It was easy to follow them both into the bathroom.

After Clint and Bucky read Braelynn a bedtime story and she fell asleep, Bucky made them a dinner of homemade pizza. It was delicious, and Bucky proved that by eating more than half the pizza.

Clint, however, only had a couple of bites from his slice.

Trying to ignore the grief that the symptoms of his sick husband brought him, Bucky turned his mind toward their shared love: their little girl.

“How do you do it, Clint?” he asked again, returning to the unanswered question from before.

“Bucky, Braelynn does the same thing to me when I try to feed her. She lets you feed her, even if she doesn’t agree to you giving her a bath. She will let me give her a bath, but me feeding her is out of the question. So if you look at it like that, we each get to do something with her which the other ones doesn't. Yes, she has things she likes me to do… but she also has special moments just for you. You can’t let yourself forget that.”  
Bucky took a few moments to think about Clint’s words. With a sigh, he accepted his husband’s wisdom. "I guess you’re right.”

It would be nice if Braelynn would let him give her a bath without her fighting him all the time, but sharing her likes and dislikes with Clint was a good replacement. Bucky wanted this to last forever. Clint was his life, and he wasn’t sure what he would do if he lost Clint again.

It wasn’t going to happen; not if he could help it.

They cleaned up dinner and headed to bed. Buck cuddled with Clint. Their life was good. Clint seemed to be, well, not getting better yet, but stabilizing. If he needed to, Bucky would take time off from work. Clint and he would see this beaten together.

 

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It was close to Braelynn’s second birthday when things took a turn for the worst.

The changes were subtle. Clint had been tired a lot more lately, and his appetite hadn’t been good. He ate, but it wasn’t a lot. He complained - or, really, Bucky noticed his winces and flinches - of constant aches and pains.

When Clint hadn’t managed to eat more than a few bites of food in a whole day, Bucky gave in and took him to the hospital. There, Doctor Banner ran some tests on him, and had Clint checked into the hospital as a precaution. The test results came back.

Once again, it showed that his health was declining. Once again, they hoped there was an alternative.  
  
Buck had Pepper take Braelynn since they thought it was no place for their loud, growing, two-year-old daughter in a hospital room. Braelynn, young and innocent, didn't understand what was going on. Pepper reported that she fussed and whined, unwilling to be alone from them for too long.

Natalia, Matt, Darcy and Skye all visited him, too. Steve helped out as much as he could, in spite of still attending college, but and he managed to spend time with Braelynn whenever he could. Having been there in her early days, she held a piece of his heart.

Clint, after long hours in the hospital bed, ill and weak, had to admit he was tired of fighting. He was still fighting, and would continue to do so for his family, but he was tired. He knew his time was near, and wanted to spend as much time as he could before his body gave up. Mostly, he was glad that Bucky and Braelynn would have someone after he passed away. Steve had been a rock for Bucky before, and Clint didn’t see him stopping now.

He wanted to make sure he said he said his goodbye to everyone, too. That was part of why he was so glad the others were all visiting so often. He was aware that his goodbye to Bucky was going to be the hardest. It was a comfort to put it off in favor of saying his piece to his friends. His daughter was the second hardest. He knew she wouldn’t understand what was happening. Honestly, neither did he. He had his whole life ahead of him, but cancer had cut his life short at the age of twenty-one.

Clint visited with Barney on a cloudy day. It was three o’clock in the afternoon when his brother walked into the hospital room. Clint was both sad to see this come, and grateful to get it over with; he didn’t want to hurt Barney any more than he had to.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Barney asked. Clint looked hard at his brother instead of answering, concerned. Barney’s eyebrows were creased, his fists clenched, and his voice shook when he’d spoken. Abruptly, Clint wasn’t sure whether Barney was going to sit down or turn and run.

“Barney wait!” Clint yelped, stalling for time.

There wasn’t anything he could do to stop his brother from leaving if he wanted to. Clint didn’t have the strength to go after him, or the means. Bucky was at the cafeteria grabbing something to eat for the both of them, and wouldn't be back until long after Barney would’ve had time to flee.

Barney looked over at his brother, thin and pale in that hospital bed, and visibly thought about running versus staying. Barney eventually sighed and sat down in the space Clint had patted at on the bed.

“Barney, you are a great brother to me, and I love you. I do hope you and Rebecca are happy together. I’m glad you found someone who loves you and will be there for you always. I will be watching over all of you guys, but I know it’s nice to have someone in person to be there.”

“Clint, don’t talk like that, you'll be fine!” Barney insisted. Barney wasn’t about to give up hope that Clint would beat this cancer. He couldn’t, because he desperately didn’t want to see his brother die before he did. Clint had so much to live for; Barney didn’t want to face a world without his younger brother.

“Barney, I know my body, and it’s tired. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out for; I want to be here for everyone, but my body isn’t going for it. I'm saying my goodbye now. When I do leave, I would have said my goodbye to everyone I care about, while my mind is still clear, and I’m not doused with pain medications.” Clint told him. Barney had tears in his eyes.

“I am glad you’re my brother.”

Clint and Barney hugged one another. Clint ignored the pain. This might be the last time he hugged his brother, so he was going to enjoy it while he could. Barney held onto Clint like he was drowning, too, and Clint wasn’t about to ask the poor man to let go before he was ready. Soon after Barney left, Clint allowed himself to sleep, temporarily giving into his exhaustion.

The next time Clint awoke, instead of Barney or Bucky, he saw Doctor Banner. The look on his face was unreadable. Clint supposed it could either be good news or bad news.

Clint hoped it was the kind of news that meant he’d be able to stick around, in spite of how badly he’d begun to feel.

“Clint, I got the x-rays back. I found a small lump on your lung. I’m sorry, but the cancer is definitely spreading now.”

Clint wanted to fight, but the idea of another round of chemotherapy was too much. At this point, he was sure that the side-effects of the poisonous treatment would kill him faster than the tumors now growing in his lungs. The safest way was just to enjoy the time that he had left with his family now.

Bucky was next to Clint. His eyes widened a bit at what he had just heard. Bucky looked at Clint, asking without words what Clint wanted to do. Drawing a deep breath, he gave voice to his thoughts. “Doctor Banner, thank you for all your help. But, now, I think I would like to spend my remaining time with my family.”  
Bruce gave him a sad, if understanding, smile. “You’re welcome Clint. It was great getting to know you.”

The doctor chose to make his exit then, leaving the couple alone. Once he was out the door, Clint looked over at Bucky. “Once he gets the discharge papers and we’ve got them signed, let’s head home.”

Bucky just nodded in agreement. He’d had the sinking feeling something like this was going to happen, and wasn’t sure if Braelynn would understand what was going on, so he’d asked Pepper to take Braelynn home with her. At least until they got things settled; Clint would want to say goodbye, after all.

It wasn’t long before Bruce showed up with the papers. Soon enough, they were on their way home.

Things were different. Braelynn just didn’t understand why she couldn’t hug Clint or play with him, though the tension she could clearly feel from both of them caused her more tears than any lack of understanding. Clint ended up with a pained look in his eyes, as Bucky struggled to do what he could to calm her down every time.  
Time went on.

Eventually, Bucky had no choice but to go back to work. Pepper came over to help with Braelynn, again. Clint slept most of the day. It was a repeat of before, but with even less activity on his part. He missed his daughter most of all, and it hurt almost worse than the actual, physical pain.  
One day he woke up, and over in the corner of his room was Braelynn. She was sprawled fitfully on her blanket, sleeping. Pepper walked into the room, and Clint immediately turned to her.

“Pepper why is Braelynn over there?”

Pepper looked over at the sleeping form before replying, “She wants to be close by you; she was the one who came in here, dragging her blanket along. I almost stopped her, until I saw where she was setting up. Every time she tries to touch you it hurts you, she ends up upset, and she knows that. I think this is her way of telling you she understands that she can’t touch you.”

“It would be great for things to be different. I just hope everyone will be okay after I’m gone.” Clint said, as he stared at a photo of Bucky, himself, and Braelynn.  
Pepper was quiet for a moment.

“Clint, I hope so, too. Just know both Bucky and Braelynn will be taken care of after you’re gone.” Pepper assured. Clint looked up at her and gave her a watery smile, before turning his attention to his lonely daughter. Pepper, seeing his preoccupation, quietly went back the way she’d come.

Clint looked over at where she lay, lingering on her face.

“Bree, I love you so much. I'm sorry you don’t understand this. Your daddy will explain it to you when you get older.” Clint whispered to her.

 

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The next time Clint awoke, Steve was there. He sat in a chair by the bed, and had a book in his hand.

“Hey, Steve.”

Steve looked up from his page, saw that Clint was awake, and set the book on the nightstand beside the bed. “How are you doing?”

“I am doing great, under the circumstance,” Clint told him, pushing the button to adjust the bed so he could sit up without actually moving.

“Good to hear. I wanted to say I’m, uh, I’m going to miss you when you're gone, Clint. You were… a good friend. I was sad when things turned sour between us.” Steve started as he shifted in his seat. Clint wasn’t sure why Steve was nervous, and waiting didn’t cause Steve to continue speaking. After a second, it dawned on him.

“Steve, I want you to do me a favor.”

“Anything.”

“I want you to take care of Bucky and Braelynn for me. They’re going to need all the family and friends they can get when I'm gone. I consider you a part of this family, however far apart we’ve managed to fall. I know Bucky won’t want to move on; he’ll fight it, you know him. I want you to be there for him. I know that he cares about you, and - given time - it might even grow into the kind of caring you have for him. So I am giving my blessing if you, in case you do end up getting together. Bucky deserves the best, and so does Braelynn.”

Steve opened his mouth then shut it. He opened it again to say something, but then closed it. Steve looked at Clint, and he finally just nodded, at a loss. They let the silence grow between them, and for the first time in a long time, it was comfortable.

After the heart-to-heart moment, Clint fell back to sleep. Steve stayed and played with Braelynn for a little while before heading back to the college. Darcy and Skye took his place. Clint was glad to see both of them. They both had smiles on their faces.

“What did you guys do?” Clint eyed them suspiciously.

“Well, I sent out a copy of your manuscript to a publishing company. They are interested in publishing your novel,” Darcy said excitedly.  
  
Clint didn’t know what to say. Without thinking, he blurted, “Do they know what’s going on with me?”

“I didn’t say anything; thought you would want to do that yourself.”

“Thank you. Do you have their number? There are some things I want to make sure happen, and I’m going to have someone else help me to arrange all this.”  
Darcy produced a business card and handed it to Clint. He put it on the nightstand after looking it over, and turned to Skye, dismissing the subject at hand for the person in front of him. “So, Skye, how are your parents?”

“My parents are great. They are busy with work and grading papers. Every now and again I can pull them away from it all, to even have some fun.” Skye admitted with a smile, glancing around the room curiously.

“That’s good. Please tell them I said hello.”

“Will do.”

Clint's eyes were about to drop; he didn't realize how tired he was was. Clint hoped Darcy and Skye would understand that he hadn’t fallen asleep on purpose. By now, what his body needed was sleep, and that was what it demanded. Still, he’d have preferred not being forced to effectively ignore them.

 

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 Matt eventually came over, toting the sleeping twins with him, in their stroller.

“Hey Matt. How’re you doing?”

‘It’s going okay; been busy. I have gotten help from my boyfriend. He’s been a great help.” Matt started, as he took a seat in the chair next to Clint’s bed.

“Boyfriend? When did this happen?”

“Well, we met at the hospital after I gave birth. His name is Kelly Casey. He works as a data administrator at the hospital.”

“I am glad you’re happy, Matt. You deserve it. I am so glad, too, that we had the chance to meet and become friends.”

“So am I, Clint,” Matt grew quiet and sad, as reality intruded. They could talk about babies and boyfriends all he wanted, but there was a reason he was here. He swallowed hard, and then murmured, “I promise you I will help your family out any way I can when you’re gone,”  
Clint smiled. “I know you will.”

“I-I would love to stay and talk, but... I better get the little ones home before, you know, they wake up,” Matt stuttered as he stood up. Clint’s eyes were already growing heavy, and Matt was clearly just scrambling for an excuse to leave him be. When he spoke, it was rushed and teary. “I’ll talk to you later if… if that’s still an option.”

“Sound like a plan. Have a good day.” Clint said as he watched Matt and his children leave.

 

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Almost everything had been taken care of. Clint’s body was just about ready to quit on him, and he was sleeping more than anything else now. The only thing he was waiting on was Bucky.

Bucky clearly wasn’t ready to let him go, and Clint knew that Bucky felt guilty and responsible for the time they’d spent without one another. Clint didn’t blame him. He didn’t know what exactly what would have happened, had Bucky revealed that he was pregnant. But everything was different now; everything was cleared up. Things were good for them. It was a good note to leave things on.

But Bucky was still holding onto the hope that Clint would beat this and get better. Clint held on, now, for Bucky’s sake. He wasn’t going to leave Bucky miserable and thinking all the wrong things - not after he’d already made that mistake once, with the pregnancy and Braelynn. If it was the last thing he would do, Clint was going to convince Bucky it was okay, and none of this was his fault. Then, and only then, would Clint be okay with letting go.

It was nighttime, and Bucky had just gotten Braelynn to bed. When Bucky entered the bedroom and sat beside him, Clint could instantly tell that there was something different about Bucky. It made him pay close attention, hoping for something good but preparing for something bad. He just didn’t know what had changed.

“Bucky?” He hummed cautiously, testing the waters.

“Clint, please just let me talk.” Bucky begged; his eyes were bright with tears. Clint backed down and waited for his husband to speak.

“Clint, I have been selfish, holding on to you, and wanting you to stay. I had hope that you would get better, no matter how bad it looked; you had to, because I loved you. I see now it’s not the case. This isn’t a fairy tale where true love heals all wounds. I'm sorry; I’m hurting you by holding on too tightly. I can see that now. It’s not fair to you. So right now I am saying this, Clinton Francis Barton, the love of my life: I love you with all my heart. I will miss you when you are gone. If it’s your time to leave, then you can go. I am not going to hold you any longer.”

Bucky leaned over and gave Clint a kiss on the forehead. Then he sat back down quietly and just watched Clint. Clint smiled.

“Thank you, Bucky. I needed to know you were going to be okay with this.”

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I promise you I will not let our daughter forget you.”

“I know you won’t.”

It was quiet for a few moments. They both let the silence stay. Bucky just wanted to spend as much time as he could with Clint before the end, and words were no longer necessary.

For his part, Clint watched Bucky until his eyelids felt heavy. When they closed, he let the sounds of Bucky’s presence lull him to sleep, the same as it had been doing for years.

He wasn’t alone, and Bucky would be okay. That was what mattered.

Clint had been let go. He was set free. He had said all his good-byes, and made sure everything had been in order before he left. Going to sleep did the rest.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Banner] Old Bruises](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6445093) by [Knowmefirst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knowmefirst/pseuds/Knowmefirst)




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